Movie Review - "30 Minutes or Less" *

     One of my favorite movies of the past decade is The Social Network, David Fincher's brilliant film about the founding of Facebook. One of the reasons for this is my appreciation for Jesse Eisenberg's performance as Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. Everything about his performance worked for me, it was darn near perfect. I also enjoyed Eisenberg in the 2009 cult hit Zombieland, a movie that was way better than it had any right to be. That film was directed by Ruben Fleischer, a little-known director who managed to develop a cult classic with his first major project. When I saw the previews for 30 Minutes or Less, it didn't appear to be something I would enjoy, but since Fleischer and Eisenberg were both associated with the film I decided to go ahead and give it a chance and see if I would find another surprise, just like Zombieland. I was surprised alright...by just how terrible the movie is.

     I'm not going to spend much time on a plot summary, but basically Eisenberg stars as Nick, a pizza delievery driver who lives a mundane life. His life takes a turn for the bizarre when he is kidnapped by Dwayne and Travis (Danny McBride and Nick Swardson), two not-so-bright individuals who need to come across $100,000 quickly. They strap a bomb vest to Nick and tell him he needs to rob a bank within 10 hours or the bomb will explode. Nick freaks out and turns to his best friend Chet (Aziz Ansari) to help him rob the bank. Obviously, things do not go as planned as none of the principals involved are criminal masterminds in the slightest. Various hijinks ensue. That's really all you need to know, it's mindless.

     I'm giving 30 Minutes or Less one star but that is being VERY generous. I like to save my no star reviews for special trash, such as Tree of  Life, movies that "think" they are great but are just the opposite.I never laughed out loud once and slightly chuckled maybe once or twice tops. I think you can tell a lot about a movie if the funniest scene occurs after the credits have finished rolling, which is the case here. Unfortunately, by then it was too little too late. I also have one big beef with this movie, and it's something I rarely complain about, and that's the language. First off, I am not offended by foul language. I have seen tons of films with language even harsher than what is here, there is a big difference though. Here it is so obvious that the writer has no idea what he is doing and can't come up with a coherent script, so let's throw in an F-bomb every other word because that's the "cool" thing to do. The lack of thought that went into writing this is appalling. I'm not sure what worries me the most, the fact that the writer has such a limited vocbaulary, or the fact that there is a large portion of the population that will find this script hilarious and entertaining. Look, I'm not mad at you if you like this, we all have different tastes, but if this is one of the better films you have seen in a while, you need to expand your movie tastes just a bit. As for Eisenberg, I'll chalk this up as a mistake. Get back to the good stuff, you have so much talent to waste it on this.